Teach, Lead, Guide

Since so many of my FHE family are preparing to serve missions (guys and girls) FHE tonight focused on missionary work. I was asked to teach half of the first discussion along with Levi. I was terrified! Not only was I already not very confident in the material but also there are half a dozen RMs in my group. I felt slightly inadequate to say the least. Prior to beginning I was talking to Levi telling him how nervous I was and that he should just teach the whole thing because he knew what he was doing (he is an RM) and is a way better teacher than I. He didn't say anything at first. He just looked at me. Finally he sincerely said, "I don't teach anything. I am not going to teach anything at all tonight. The Spirit is going to do all of the teaching. If you teach with the Spirit you have nothing to worry about." Nothing else was said and FHE commenced. Levi went first. He did amazing as all RMs do--speaking with confidence, and surety. The spirit was evidently in the room. 

During his lesson I kept praying to have the spirit with me when I taught and that my nervous would be calm. I can't tell you how nervous I was. Everyone is just so much more experienced than I am and I am often very intimated by them. Levi finished his segment and then passed it onto me. My mouth opened and I slowly began. I don't remember exactly what I said, but I remember how I felt. I could feel the spirit in the room as I taught, I could feel him helping me know what to say. It was amazing. I know my lesson wasn't perfect or anywhere close to the scale of Levi's but I know that the spirit was present, and that others felt it to. When I was done I just felt so excited like "so this is what missionaries feel like!" It got me so excited about missionary work. In fact, the whole night did. Hearing all of the RMs talk about their missions and bare testimony was very powerful to me. I am not saying that I am going to start my mission papers tomorrow or anything, but the thought definitely entered my mind.

 After the prophets announcement I briefly considered it but not to the depth I should have thinking that it just wasn't for me. Experiences I have had lately are slowly changing my mind and I find myself more open to serving a mission. I don't know. I really need to think, ponder, and pray about it. It is a huge decision. My patriarchal blessing says that I have the ability to "teach, lead, and guide". As I was teaching tonight that phrase popped into my head and it really hit me. I want to become a better teacher and leader. I want to be more confident in teaching. I love to teach and lead people. I love studying with other people, especially with study groups, because it allows me the opportunity to lead and teach.  One of my TAs even complimented me on my teaching ability, saying that I would be a really good TA. I hope that I can work on this gift. I want to be more confident in Gospel teaching and leading. Both my parents are such good examples of this and I hope that I can follow in their footsteps. The Lord needs me to be a leader and a teacher. I don't know exactly how or when but I do know that I need to be ready. I know that as I work on these skills that the Lord will give me opportunities to exercise them. I plan to really ponder serving a mission in these coming weeks. Right now I feel it may very well be a possibility but there is much to think and pray about. For now, I am grateful for the opportunity I had tonight to teach by the spirit. It truly makes all the difference.