This book is filled with amazing ideas and quotes!!!! This couple (the authors) interviewed thousands of young man and asked them one thing they wished they could tell young women. The most common answer was not surprisingly "Tell them to dress MODEST!" "Tell them that how they are dressed has a huge effect on us!" Here is an analogy from the book that I thought was worth spreading.
Don't just read this. No really, don't read it. Just look at the letters, and don't read the words. Impossible, isn't it? There is no way to just notice the letters without reading the word. That's what it's like for a guy. When girls are dressed immodestly, if guys aren't careful, they will automatically start having inappropriate thoughts.
This really made me come to a realization how hard it is for the guys and how hard it must be for them. I have renewed my conviction to dress modestly! It is so important. I have made a goal to go through my closet and get rid of anything that fails to meet my standards. One boy quoted from the book "I try really hard to have the spirit with me, and when I see all these girls in school showing cleavage and underwear, it makes it really hard to feel the Spirit." The last thing I want to do is take away the Spirit from a worthy Priesthood holder!
Dallin H. Oaks profoundly stated "Please understand that if you dress immodestly, you are magnifying [the problem of pornography] by becoming pornography to some of the men who see you.". The last thing I want to do is be pornography! Wow! I NEED TO DRESS MODEST! I know I am already really good at being modest... but there is more I can do! I am no longer going to wear my puma yoga pants in public or in front of my Dad and brothers; nor, I am not going to wear my short exercise shorts; I am also going to get rid of my shirts with the V-necks in the front although I wear tank tops underneath it still gives the wrong idea. I am going to do my part in being modest and hope by doing so others can want to to. I want my daughters to be modest and I want to set the example for them.
Another section of the book that I really liked was Expect (and accept) the respect. I want to share the following story. "After we had been married about a year and a half, things were very busy with a new little baby. I often was eager to get the baby out of the car seat at the end of a car ride, or I had something I needed to do quickly. Waiting for John to open mu door before or after getting into the car seemed more of a hassle and sometimes even inconvenient. I even thought about how many seconds of my life I was wasting sitting in the car waiting. Ten seconds a day times seven days a week equals more than a minute each week, so in a year I would waste an hour of my life...plus my baby was waiting, which doubled the problem, of course. Sounds like silly thinking, but I ended up telling John that I knew he loved me and respected me but he did not nee d to open the car door for me anymore. He simply said "okay" and that was the end of it. But it did not take long before I started to feel a difference. So I said, "John I would really like if if you would start opening my door again." And he did. A few years later (after many doors were opened for me) we were living in Florida. When we pulled into the driveway after a family activity visting the Everglades, John turned off the car and opened his door so that he could come and get mine. Immediately our son, Levi (who was four at the time) yelled excitedly, "wait, Dad! I want to get Mom's door." Quick as a flash he unbuckled his seatbelt in the back of the minivan and proceeded to climb over his sisters in the next row. Then he climbed onto my lap and opened my door from the inside of the car while sitting on my lap in the a passenger seat. My heart melted! I gave him a big kiss! I saw that by accepting John's respect, we were teaching or son a valuable lesson about honoring women. I was grateful I had chosen to accept the respect that had been offered to me over the years." I just LOVE that story!
I hope I can accept guys respect for me as well as teach my boys the importance of honoring women as it is part of their priesthood duty, and by accepting their respect I am allowing them to fulfill their duty of "watch(ing) over and strengthen(ing) the church" (D&C 20:53) and that includes young women!!
I want to share one more story from this valuable book.
"We once had a really special experience when we were asked to pick up a a General Authority from the apirport and take him to a young single adult fireside. The spirit that was present in the car and when he spoke was undeniable. I knew he was a servant of God. The whole time he made me feel so honored to be a woman. We were in a small car, and it seemed very appropriate for him to have the leg room of the front seat. When I offered him the front seat, he refused and gave it to me. He said, "I would never separate a man from his wife." As we traveled, he was so gracious and kind and poured on the compliments. Even though we arrived later than planned, he didn't rush ahead of me as we walked to the chapel. He just talked with me personally and wlways waited for me to go through the door first. when I was with him, I felt like I waas in the presence of somebody who truly honored womenhoold." The author commentaries "Girls, a real man will honor you. Expect the respect you deserve as a daughter of a Heavenly King. Graciously and gratefully accept the respect that is offered".
I love that! Reading it just makes me feel so honored to be a woman! I am not going to settle for anything less than a man who honors me, and respects me... I in turn will accept and express my thanks for that respect. I hope I can better myself to be worthy or such a man. These two special people immediately come to mind.
This is what I am waiting for.
The reason I shared these stories and thoughts from this book is because when I read them I strongly felt the spirit and new their were somethings I needed to change and I felt compelled to share them because one day I would want to look back and remember these testimony strengthening experiences.
Things I need to change
1. Not fretting over not be asked out on a date but rather focus on becoming stronger in testimony and talents then when the right one comes along I will be ready.
2. I need to be more conscious of what I wear. It has a profound affect on men.
3. I need to expect and accept respect. Even if it means waiting by the door.
Finally I want to share 3 scriptures that were shared in the book that bestowed the spirit upon me and I truly felt Christ's love for me.
"I know thee by name" (Exodus 33:17)
"I have loved thee with an everlasting love" (Jeremiah 31:3)
"I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee" (Hebrews 13:5)
He is there for me and he is there for you to!
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